Is Driving Worth It?

August 25, 2009 at 10:12 PM 2 comments

I’ve always thought all the hating at the DMV was a bit exaggerated, but now I know that it’s all justified. Now I’ll add my own two cents to a complaint jar probably worth a sizable part of our national debt.

The DMV is like a hamster. It lives in big, glass cages, is generally (I’ll get to why it’s not always in a moment) unproductive, and bites you even if you’re nice (like my brother’s hamster that karma killed). Most of its constituents also overweight, but only hamsters can pull fat off and look cute at the same time.

Yes, so about the Plexiglass. For those of you haven’t been the branch I went to, the whole interior has a secondary wall of some kind of glass. It’s probably bulletproof or something. And there’s probably a reason for that, just as there’s a reason that it’s probably the only guv’mint agency that needs to post signs saying: “THREATENING AN EMPLOYEE OF THE STATE IS ILLEGAL.”

Now on to efficiency. While I was waiting in line (the fourth one out of six) to take my written exam, the line hardly moved. A man next to me commented, “Must be a hard test.” Of course, the test was piece of stale cake, but the one lady they had grading the tests took about five minutes for each one. I wondered why they didn’t upgrade to Scantrons. Even the education department, which always seems to get the short end of the stick, has them. I got two answers. One of them, my mom gave me: so people don’t get replaced, even though they need to be. The other came from a DMV worker. The term was timshel, as I learned in East of Eden. “Thou mayest.” Apparently, not all employees of the DMV choose to be an inconvenience to society, and are actually productive. She was more or less a Scantron. Her pencil zooms down the exam, only pausing to mark wrong answers. It was almost scary, in a way. She was also Asian. Have at it.

If it’s any consolation, it’s nice to know that suffering together at the DMV builds friendships. While these bonds are more like hydrogen bonds in that they are weak (we never learned each other’s names), having someone to talk to helps ease the pain. I met this nice man who had plenty to say about the government, and a senior from another high school who wondered how many bullets the glass wall would take, and noticed that there was a space between the wall and the ceiling that a grenade would fit through. Hence the wall.

Anyways, as the premeditating girl and I neared the front of the line to finally get our permits, some older woman cut us. She explained, “I’m handicapped”, and we go, “Whatever,” and go back to talking about falling asleep in class.

But for some reason, the employee at the window was an asshole. He wouldn’t let it go. “You let people cut in line, and you don’t care?” I’m silent for the moment. He keeps at it. I go, “She said she was handicapped.”

He goes, “What? I’m handicapped, too.” He probably counts as one, because although I couldn’t see over the counter, I was pretty sure he had some flab. Granted, the woman did not seem handicapped. But what does he want me to do? Demand, “Oh yea, prove it. Let’s see that broken leg.” I’m pretty sure he would ask that, because earlier I saw a customer who couldn’t speak English, and when he went “No Eeengleesh,” the employee abruptly said, “Bye bye.” Terrible service for an agency of a that is from the people, by the people.

If there’s anything to take away from here, it’s to try really hard not to get into an accident, if only to stay away from the DMV.

Also, an oxymoron I picked up today: “Hurry up and wait in line.”


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Return of the Moufflet Now that was fun

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. ...................................  |  August 26, 2009 at 8:37 PM

    hydrogen bonds arent that weak…

    maybe the DMV people are just grumpy because they have to sit in one place from 9-5… dont tell me they close at 2…

    sometimes… i see a really really long line that almost circles the building… or looks like it does…

  • 2. ...................................  |  August 26, 2009 at 8:43 PM

    Obviously there is a bullet-proof glass…

    not only that, but also the building is fireproof and has locks that use some laser technology…

    What do you expect… it is, after all, called the Department of Misdemeanor and Vandalism…


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August 2009
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