May 20, 2009 at 7:55 PM 3 comments

Pockets are a mixed bag.

On one hand, they’re almost a hallmark of civilization, evolving from the external pouch to an internal pocket. It’s nearly as useful as the wheel. You can put all sorts of random things in there, such as pocket watches, grenades, and pocket protectors (because of the grenade).

On the other hand, they’re sneaky, unreliable things that have a nasty habit of losing things you put in them. It’s like they’re the entrance to Narnia. If it’s just a few coins or something, no problem. Besides, that’d be lowering inflation and we could all use a bit of that.

However, it might just happen that the iPod you put in there will disappear to have a nice cup of tea with Aslan under the glorified Apple tree (har har, get it?) called the Tree of Protection. Only problem is, time doesn’t stop in this world while they’re in the next. How do you know? They never come back.

In fact, they’re so unreliable that when people go, “You dropped your pocket,” you actually check to see if it hasn’t run away from you with your valuables in them.

Furthermore, pockets are also responsible for the creation of the Pocket Monsters, which is still going after a decade, unlike other monsters, such as Digital Monsters and the Monster Under Your Bed. Anything that can spawn monsters that can’t be killed (only rendered “Fainted” at best) is surely unhealthy for this world.

You can't kill it - you can only knock it out.

Interestingly, despite their reputations for losing things, it’s been observed that pockets end up with things that don’t belong there. More than once I’ve turned things upside down searching for a misplaced pencil, only to realize after I’ve stabbed my thigh after sitting down the the pencil was in my pocket all along. I sure as heck didn’t put it there.


Entry filed under: Revelations. Tags: , .

The Retarded Aspect About Aspect Ratios And Breathe Out

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. paulynn  |  May 21, 2009 at 5:29 PM

    got that right.

  • 2. xxx  |  May 21, 2009 at 11:19 PM

    pockets with zippers. may help some of the cons.

    pockets with zippers, may still allow pencils to stab you in the thigh.

  • 3. The Matchmaker  |  May 22, 2009 at 4:11 PM

    Yes…. you just revealed the secret to being calm… just throw all stresses and evils into your pocket and Aslan will destory them…

    i put my grades in my pocket… if im not satisfied with them…


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