Never Eat Anything Longer Than Your Finger

February 26, 2009 at 6:45 PM 1 comment

A 1 and 1/2 oz. snack box of Sun-Maid California raisins that the school cafeteria serves is two and one-eight inches wide and seven-eights of an inch long. However, the dimensions that really concern me is it’s height. The box is two and seven-eights inches tall.

While sunlight may travel 93 million miles to turn our Grapes into Sun-Maid raisins, the human finger must travel the two and seven-eights inches that is its length* in order to retrieve a raisin from the sticky depths of the box (ignoring the fact that the box could be opened from the bottom). During the process, the lip of the box cuts into the web of your finger, and as such is not a comfortable process.

I propose that Sun-Maid should make its boxes a wee bit shorter, so as to better facilitate the consumption of their raisins.

A too tall box of raisins.

*Actually the length of my index finger, as measured from the third crease. For some reason, it is ridiculously difficult to research the length of the human index finger, which is why I used my own. What keeps coming up instead on Google is a billion articles about how the ratio of your index finger compared to your ring finger may relate to your sexual orientation, and even the length of the male genitalia.


Entry filed under: Food, School.

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1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Be a man... use your hands  |  February 26, 2009 at 7:01 PM

    you could tear the box to get to the raisins.

    Hands are so versatile…


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