Old House Nostalgia

January 19, 2009 at 2:48 PM 1 comment

When we bought our new house, here in wherever I’m at, we sold our old house to my mom’s sister. After living in it for a little while, she moved to somewhere in Northern California, and rented her house.

Rented her house for fifteen hundred dollars a month. You could buy a twelve pretty laptops every year! And to think my dad didn’t want to rent it because it was “too much work.” I’d go through “work” for that.

Anyways, so we were visiting our old house as the “agent” to some prospective renters for our aunt, who was a couple hundred miles away. My brother and I went through it, pointing every which way and saying, “Remember that…” and “We used to do this…” and good old nostalgia. Mom pointed out a rose bush near the driveway. “You crashed into that while learning to ride your bike. I was surprised you still kept learning.” Of course, I’m not a quitter.

Meanwhile, my mom and dad were picking tangerines and kumquats from the trees that our grandfather had planeted for us while we still lived there. Then our neighbor, a very nice old man and lady, came out. My dad’s like, “Forgot about us?” And she’s like, “No. Save some tangerines for us.”

Finally, we went around to the front. There was a whole bunch of mail left for the previous tenants, who were evicted after being suspected for committing some shady actions.

Among the piles and piles of mail, we found this rather large box.

It was from a company called Kyäni. Maybe we shouldn’t have opened it, but open it we did. Inside was a bottle of omega-3 pills labeled Kyäni Sunset, some thing called NitroFX, and this 32 oz. bottle of stuff called Kyäni Sunrise.

Remember the “shady actions” of the previous tenant? Well, suddenly we had this weird suspicion that these products could possibly some front for some, er, illegitimate substances.

According to the labels of the bottles, these products were some kind of health products. The nutrition facts of the Sunrise bottle:

Kyäni Overdose

3333% of Vitamin B12 seems a bit excessive. Looking at the other extremely high nutrients, my mom got this idea that whoever ordered it was impotent and that this bottle was liquid Viagra.

Whatever it is, I’m not drinking it, even though wolfberries and bee pollen sound better than whatever was in my Chinese herbal medicine.


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1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. John  |  February 25, 2014 at 2:18 PM

    That bottle is from a multilevel marketing business (almost like a pyramid scheme). It supposedly has nutrients from Alaskan blueberries that act as an antioxidant. I think the whole thing is a scam. The body can’t even absorb all of those nutrients, it would induce vitamin/mineral toxicity.


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