School Resolves to Sweep

January 5, 2009 at 10:54 PM 1 comment

It is Chinese tradition to avoid sweeping during the New Year’s for fear of sweeping away the good luck.

However, the school administration, with no such superstitious fears, has implemented a new plan that seems to be aimed at reducing student tardies this 2009.

At eight o’clock sharp, when the bell beeps, all teachers are to lock their doors, locking late students out to picked up by deans with “smug looks” in tardy sweeps, as they are called. These collected students are then recorded before being released to their classrooms – quite a while later, depending on the number of students “swept.”

Quite a counterproductive measure, if you ask me, or any number of other students who have the same opinion. Instead of missing a minute or two of class, these tardy sweeps force the student to miss upwards of valuable class time, and then waste a lunch serving detention, with is simply having to “sit quietly, and do whatever on the benches [in the gym] … but no talking”, as a sophomore, serving no other purpose than to turn into impatient vegetables.

Other students also noted that these tardy sweeps may in fact raise the number of absences, as students will leave campus and miss the period altogether rather than getting caught.

During an Inter-Club Council meeting today, some students felt that the staff conducting the sweeps would be better used for campus beautification, and one master of the obvious said, “I’m very unsatisfied” and that there should be no harsh consequences whatsoever, such as death by boredom.

But until the administration reconsiders, if it does, then the only solution will be include being on time in your New Year’s resolutions list.


Entry filed under: School.

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1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Farmer John  |  January 11, 2009 at 10:54 PM

    Do you have a problem with vegetables? You always seem to diss vegetables.

    When you get ‘swept’, remember to keep your tardy slip thing. With a little bit of photoshop and a fake hall pass, you will have your School tardy survival kit.


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