Archive for August, 2008

Camp Stories

A lot of things have happened during my six days of music camp, not all of it having to do with making a “box of wood vibrate”.

Let’s start with the bathrooms.

Very interesting conversations occur in the restroom. While on the toilets, some guys will play a game known as “Would you Rather…”, usually comparing girls and discussing their pros and cons.

Furthermore, while in the shower, men are not so manly. I was sitting in my cabin one night, and all of a sudden, hysterical screaming erupts and two juniors run out of the shower room – one with a toothbrush in his mouth and one with only his boxers on (nothing to worry, since as one guy said, also in the shower, “most guy’s boxers are longer than most girl’s shorts”).

“Oh my god!” “AHHHH!” “AHHH!” “AHHHHH!”

Naturally, we all ask what happens.

“There’s a fricken huge lizard in there!” Turns out, the lizard isn’t all that big, but they freak out anyways. The three guys are in the showers are standing half in and half out, trying to kill the thing. One attempts to give the thing poisoning by covering it with his shampoo. Every time the lizard moves, they jump and scream! Sometime later, they finally killed it, and left it in two pieces under a trash can.

Then there was more faux-homosexuality, with several peeking-toms in the showers and some in the cabins.

Also, we experienced some aromatic issues at camp. When you spend your entire day in your shoes in an unbelievably dusty environment, things tend to start smelling.

However, some people forgot to pack some air-freshener, so they resorted to what they thought was the next best thing: Axe.

Now Axe is a type of deodorant advertised as some kind of spray-on love charm that will attract women. However, the majority of women do not like the smell of Axe, nor do a large number of men. Axe used as an air-freshener results in a smell quite similar to Axe+__odor__, which will become quite unbearable. In the case of Axe+flatulence, not only will the smell be unbearable, it will in fact become quite lethal. You wouldn’t want to do anything that might cause a spark anywhere near the scene of the smell.

Pranks. I would love to say that I have amazing and sadistic prank stories to tell, but I sadly I have none, partly because I’m not a senior yet and because I’m just so nice. The only thing I did was help duct tape some freshies’ stuff to the ceiling. So sorry folks.

Foosball. We have become addicted to foosball over the course of several days. We wake up to foosball, we have foosball for lunch, and we have foosball for dinner. Can’t get enough of it. And please, no spinning – for the sake of the table at the very least.

Feet. Don’t forget to bring your own masseuse. Standing takes a lot out of you, and sitting crosslegged is one of the most awkward positions in the world. And band thinks that just because they have march they work harder.

That’s it for now. Check back soon for more, maybe…

August 31, 2008 at 10:14 PM 1 comment

A Dose of Drama

I am afraid to say that I have been watching a drama show. Corner With Love on Channel 18 LA.

Oh the hypocrisy! Of course, I can try to redeem myself. After all, I did need a dose of drama in my life. I’ve just been doing mindless things like Counter-Strike and Warcraft III when I should be trying to plug in the rather large holes in my Algebra 2 knowledge.

And it’s not like I’m addicted to the show anyways. I was just trying to analyze it’s crappy transitions and advertisement butchering. They do have funny sound effects at the right moment though.

I’ve also realized that it takes a great deal of patience to watch one of these shows. There were so many flashbacks that you’d think the producers were nostalgic. Of course, it might be some profit-maximizing technique. Recycling scenes – very environmental friendly. I also had to resist the urge to strangle some of the characters for obvious stupidity, as well as this one character who had this uber-annoying naive and nagging voice.

To it’s credit however, my parents noted that they were actually incorrect in predicting the outcome of the story. The main character’s dad was missing for the whole part of the story, and my parents were placing bets that he was the character’s lover or was some wealthy man who would suddenly make the character rich. Wrong.

See? I’m not really a hypocrite after all.

August 23, 2008 at 5:17 AM Leave a comment

So are you gay or not?

I’ve noticed a recent trend that’s been occurring around my school: faux-homosexuality.

At least I think it’s fake. It seems mainly afflict the male gender. Many of them will go around making homosexual remarks and do things to each other that no self-respecting heterosexual male would do.

All one needs to do is just take a few looks at some Facebook examples. It’s like some of my friends are Borat come to life.

I'm pretty sure these people aren't gay.

But for some ironic reason, people who do this usually will never admit that they truly are gay. And even the truly gay people don’t go to this kind of extreme, I don’t think.

Maybe it’s just that longing to try the other side, I don’t know. But whatever it is, it’s pretty disrespectful to gay people as well as self-degrading.

So to my friends, unless you really are homosexual, you really shouldn’t fake it.

August 12, 2008 at 3:29 PM 3 comments

Olympic Magic

I have finally watched some of NBC’s sliced, diced, edited, and narrated monopoly broadcast of the 2008 Olympics Opening Ceremony in Beijing.

I must say, it is an impressive display of coordination, fat wallets, gunpowder, subtle military might, and buried communism.

My mom, however, was beyond impressed. She was screaming, both in delight and at my dad to record the show. “Oh my goodness.” She said it “was the best show in 5,000 years” and that “no other country can beat this”.

Larry Niven wrote that “any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” My mom must have thought Beijing was Walt Disney’s wonderful world of magic.

Of course, it was my job to bring her back down to earth and tell her that is in fact very possible for another country to do just as well. It is merely a matter of whether or not the country’s government is willing to undertake such a task. It is even possible for future Olympics to surpass this year’s, since they would know just how far they would need to go. Afterall, competition is how the world gets better.

Following more reminders of how important it is to learn Chinese, my mom also said that Jackie Chan was writing a song and that he was very patriotic, unlike me. This is proves how very ignorant she is. Jackie Chan is very patriotic. However, he is a Chinese citizen. I am an American citizen, despite being of Chinese heritage, and if I was patriotic towards China, then I would be committing treason, which is the highest offense and punishable by death.

But enough for now. I’ll go enjoy the rest of the opening ceremonies and try to ignore the human rights crises of China.

August 9, 2008 at 4:24 AM 1 comment

the Balance of Power

This is terrible. Ever since my brother got that new-fangled laptop of his that ought to be mine, the balance of power in my house has shifted.

Before, for he need to go through me to go get access to games and movies. Why? Because his computer wasn’t connected to the Internet for some reason that my parents never decided the amend.

But now he has more or less free reign, using his newfound mobility to go download such books such as Breaking Dawn from some unknown source because our parents wouldn’t by the cheesy romance for him.

What do I do now? This is terrible.

August 8, 2008 at 5:42 AM Leave a comment


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