System Error

July 14, 2008 at 2:05 AM Leave a comment

This is most disturbing news. So we got a new computer, right? Only the computer went to my brother. My little brother. I believed that this was blasphemy, so I proceeded to initiate Plan A – convince my parents that I should get the laptop.

The reasons ranged from needing the processing speed to photoshop some of our less glamorous pictures from Canada, the post of which I must still complete to being able to compile tiny Java source codes two milliseconds faster for school. My current computer has a history of crashing – just because it isn’t screwed up right now doesn’t mean it won’t crash again. And since I’m taking a computer programming class – I can’t afford to let it crash.

I can use the computer to its fullest potential – believe me, I will.

My brother will more likely get a virus on his computer.

Also, I’m the older brother. I should get the best things first. Some people may argue against that, but hey, that age old tradition (why break it?) works out for me. You’re not supposed to die faster for nothing, right?

Then I tried working on pity. I told my mom, “You kept emailing me about whether we should get this or get that … you lead me to believe that I was going to get the computer, but you let me down. *tear.” “And I’m also feeling discouraged right now.” (She said she got it for him to ‘encourage him’.)

Righteousness. Everything my brother uses is mine. MINE MINE MINE. All his games, all his limited computer skills – MINE! And he doesn’t think he owes me a thing! I may be selfish, but that’s natural. Ingrates should not be rewarded!

But despite a compilation that would have done a Speech and Debater proud, still no go. Time for Plan B – a little exercise in economics.

So I decided to withhold until further notice all my software. At first, that thankless wench wouldn’t even let me uninstall MY software. But he changed his mind after a short lesson in one-sided wrestling, if you know what I mean. But dang, his teeth were getting a bit long. I think he needs to cut them.

That’s not even the end of it, though. As soon as I uninstalled the things, the persona non grata takes the new laptop and downloads a game I just installed from the Internet. I knew I should I have neutralized that threat, first. What an ass. Knowledge apparently is power.

So feel free to judge me, but first ask yourself if you can resist new technology. I sure as heck can’t, and my conscience ain’t telling me a thing. Tips on how to get what ought to be mine back will be appreciated.

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What Time is It? Jack of All Trades

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