Fineritis

June 6, 2008 at 2:20 PM 3 comments

Shortly after being diagnosed with Selective Memory Loss, I discovered I had fineritis.

What is Fineritis?
Fineritis (fin-ne-RY-tis) is a disease related to senioritis. It’s nomenclature includes the Greek root fin, which means end. Accordingly, fineritis a condition that afflicts people towards the end of things, such as the end of a school year, causing them to be rather lazy and carefree. Although not as serious as senioritis, fineritis can still be quite hazardous to one’s grade, especially before the finals.

What Causes Fineritis?
The causes of fineritis is psychological. There are neurologicists out there trying to delve deeper into the mystery of fineritis, but upon nearing the completion of their research, have acquired the disease itself and now feel a disinclination to publish their studies. Although fineritis can occur at anytime of the year and for any number of reasons, there seems to be some kind of change right around the first half of June that creates a sudden burst of fineritis cases. Fineritis is highly contagious, but for it’s benigness the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has yet to issue orders for quarantine of fineritis victims.

Symptoms & Diagnosis
The first signs of fineritis are very hard to detect as it is just being a little more lazy than usual. Then it develops into a feeling of being jaded, and finally a very high unwillingness to do anything at all. Fineritis reaches its worst stage when the procrastination takes up more than 50% of work time.

Fineritis, like Selective Memory Loss, can be treated by consumption of meat and by staying away from foods containing soy. Comfort foods such as ice cream and chocolate will help as well. Self-discipline is also effective.

Prognosis
Fineritis is nonlethal, and when the factor inducing fineritis has passed, then the symptoms will fade.

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Entry filed under: Revelations, School.

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3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Anonymous  |  June 7, 2008 at 9:19 PM

    Dude… look at this. I bet this will solve fineritis. hah

    Reply
  • 2. Anonymous  |  June 7, 2008 at 9:20 PM

    Juicy wagyu steak

    Reply
  • 3. Christine  |  June 7, 2008 at 11:32 PM

    but for it’s benigness

    anyways…you’re the meat eater, and you’re lazy as hell.

    Reply

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