Second Period Rush Hour

March 16, 2008 at 8:43 PM Leave a comment

“Sorry honey, I’m going to be late to dinner tonight. I’m stuck in the second period rush hour. It’s bad, you know how it is in the hallways.”

That poor man above needn’t be late if it weren’t for idiots talking in the hallways, although that man shouldn’t have been on the road using a cell phone, anyways.

First of all, the hallways are bad enough. Take two hundred people and their backpacks and stuff them into a 100 meter stretch of space that’s legally only supposed to hold about a hundred people. Now each make individual move in random directions against the flow traffic, which either doesn’t exist or is going everywhere at once. It’s pretty bad all right.

But wait. Now throw in a couple of idiots strategically stopping in the middle of an intersection to talk. Are your friends accidents or something? Because that’s how traffic builds up on the highways. Accidents don’t cause congestion all by themselves; they need idiots to stop and take part in them.

Anyways, the friends must be accidents because people also decide that they need to engage in a Public Display of Affection and hug, kiss, or hold hands when someone is trying to squeeze through between them.

Balloons and slow walking people are also quite annoying. It’s quite hard to resist the urge to go up to someone who happens to be acquainted with the one of the worst kinds of friends (ones who are bad enough to give balloons), and ask how old they are. After that, you punch them that many times multiplied by the number of helium filled rubber bags they’re carrying. Slow people you just want to sock in the back of their heads and walk over them.

That about sums up the chaos during passing period at my high school. As an afterthought, throw in a couple self-important deans and their golf carts with flame decals.

A sign that should be posted in the hallways.

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