Oregon pt.1

My trip to Oregon — where to start?

It goes without saying that Oregon has beautiful countrysides. Picture perfect forests; golden fields of grain, and of course the gorgeous Columbia river. No taxes, either. I can’t decide whether to live there or in Canada.

But enough about the praises, no self-respecting post should ever be entirely about the good stuff.

Self-service pumps still remain in Oregon. I suppose it’s not that bad in that it creates jobs, but at these anachronistic pit stops there comes an anachronistic lack of credit card slots (1), so don’t expect to be able to stay in your car. However, proof that parts of Oregon still live in a box resides in the sticker (2), Seriously? Gulf coast? BP? Spill? And by the way, your play on “cogito ergo sum” should probably be by DescARCO (3).

Also, will Portland please spend some effort naming your streets? 122nd street? I’m sure the numbers go higher.

By the way, listen to your GPS most of the time, even if you think you know better. You’ll learn your lesson after you’ve dealt with one way streets and nonexistant freeway exits.

Dad: I want to get off on 122nd.

GPS: Get off on 144 (made-up street)

Ten seconds later…

Me: Uh, I think we just passed 122nd.

GPS: Travel 3 miles (in heavy traffic at 5 mph) until next exit.

The PT cruiser has some serious obstacles to overcome before it can be called a car. First of all, window controls go on the side. Not in the middle. Clocks are digital, so you don’t mistake them for another dial on the dashboard. Don’t even get me started on the outside.

For those reading restaurant reviews, Burgerville is overrated. It is not and can never be the In-n-Out of Oregon. Even McDonald’s trumps it. I mean, how could you charge more for your Walla Walla grilled onion burger when you can get them free at In-n-Out? But I suppose it’s only fair that we get In-n-Out, since Arby’s is everywhere in Oregon. Please release some back into the wild. The Arby’s population in California is in danger of becoming extinct.

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